Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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