Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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