Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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