Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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