"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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