We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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