I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize