your room smells of hookers.
And success
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
