I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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