Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
