apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
