Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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