all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
