tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
