as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
