And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
