im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
