3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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