ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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