Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize