I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
