Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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