Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
