worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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