sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
