i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
