I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
