Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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