so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
