i think my tv is drunk
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Randomize
