:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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