she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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