Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
