if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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