Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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