I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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