Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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