Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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