he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
