and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
