Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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