I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
