This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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