I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
