I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
