Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i think i just lost a toe
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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