he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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