You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
