If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
