Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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