What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
