doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
