That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
