that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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