There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so explain again why im purple
no
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
