I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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