yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
