How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
