i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
