waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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