If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
