Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
