real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
