I'm going to jail i love you
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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