I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
