I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
