Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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