I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
